Pick a card…
Hello Everyone – we would like to welcome you to the Profanity Embroidery Group’s 2021 exhibition. Usually this would take place in the hallowed halls of Whitstable’s Fishslab Gallery. This year, for obvious fucking reasons, it wasn’t.
So you can enjoy the thrill of unveiling PEG’s wondrous new work in the privacy of your own devices right here. So, let us take you by the (imaginary, gloved and sanitised) hand, and lead you through our proverbial keyholes. Originally posted as daily treats, revealing the gobsmacking skill of each PEG member in turn.
All work is based around the theme of Cards. Any cards. Some are obvious, some have gone a bit of a PEG brain walkabout, but who gives a fuck. So sit back, and enjoy.
p.s. someone told us that it’s ok to do shit photoshop.
Inspired by the flamenco postcards I loved & collected from childhood camping holidays in Spain, my señoritas all have a little PEG style message for these shit show times we’ve been living through.
Painted & hand embroidered on white cotton with silk layered skirts. Mounted on A4 boards
Chin Up Tits Out and Shit Show
Instagram | @ricracbee
It’s my small take on the current shitshow of a government under Cuntservatism and the total bullshit brought about by Brexshit…I make no apologies for my point of view #bollockstobrexit.
40 x 50 cm attached to a canvas frame.
Instagram | @ajlcreate
Library cards A5 on clipboards.
In the words of the infamous John Waters, if you go home with someone and they don’t have books don’t fuck ’em – although frankly don’t go home with either of these cock wombling wankers and definitely don’t fuck them.
Instagram | @misskittywoo
Poker Face Queens
Taking inspiration from Lady Gaga, I’ve stitched four Poker Face Queens, busy bluffin with her muffin and love glue gun, and not to mention playing the invisible banjo. Cunt read my Poker Face.
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
Can’t read my Poker Face
Instagram | @whitstabletail
Seeing Red Berni Mallinson promised her next piece would be less angry, but Bojo won’t fucking let her! As always, Berni says “it’s designed it in Excel cos I’m a spreadsheet wanker!” If anyone would like this in their loo, I’d like a donation to Chris Lewis (mountain rescue volunteer) support fund cos people are idiotic selfish cunts.
Here are my cards, which are based on the flash cards used with children. These are part of the body parts series. I will certainly be using them with the next generation. I taught my own to read with starter words like bum and shit. They were inspired by the adverts I had saved from vintage newspapers and magazines.
The fabric is recycled cotton which I dyed with natural dyes made from woad for blue, madder, dark skin, avocado pinks, dahlia flowers yellow and tea.
They were stitched by machine on my old Bernina.
280x187mm available framed in a white wooden A4 frame, mounted on grey card.
£125 unframed, £150 framed.
SOLD Knockers and Tits
Instagram | @bridgetmcarpenter
My sweary cards are based on an ideal of William Morris.
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”.
These cards are very useful when Boris starts to speak at a TV briefing on the pandemic or if you’d like to leave your lockdown partner a curt message on the kitchen table.
12 individual cards at A6 size- 15x11cm and 5mm thick, with suitably William Morrised storage box.
@instagram | RoseClarity
‘& ONE FOR HIS KNOB’
In cribbage, when you have a jack in your hand, same suite as the starter card, you declare ‘& one for his knob’ to score an extra point. There has been much intellectual debate on the origins of the phrase, but I know what I think…
Quilted, machine stitched hanging; 48x68cm with 4 detachable quit cards 15x21cm.
Part of a hero swear word series inspired by the Top Trump cards we had as kids. The word fuck is legendary and still has the power to shock as an insult, even after hundreds of years being embedded in society. I couldn’t resist recognising technology’s futile attempt to gentrify us through autocorrect- the ducking duckers!.
Embroidery silks and metallic gold thread on white cotton.
Artwork measures 28.5×18.5cm in a white wood A4 frame.
Instagram | @thatwayandthisway
I’ve always loved Aubrey Beardsley’s illustrations, I thought I could have some fun tweaking them and stitching them to become the ‘Queen of farts’ (Hearts) and the ‘Wanker’ (Joker).
Size 22.5cm x 17.5cm framed.
SOLD Queen of Farts
@instagram | @janraspberrystudiodesigns
Be astonishingly underwhelmed and bowled over with indifference as the infamous MissFortune reveals your future.
Size: 28cm x 11cm
Media: plaster cast hand, fabric embroidered fortune card, Swarovski crystals.
MissFortune No.2 (Fuck it)
MissFortune No.3 (Fucked if I know).
Size: 20 x20cm (in frame)
I am a fine artist working in mixed media specialising in abstract art. Many of my works feature the four classical Elements, Water, Fire, Air and the Earth. In these pieces for the PEG exhibition I have utilised the Aces of the four suits in playing cards to represent these elements. I have also taken slogans and proverbs, one for each suit.
The Ace of Hearts represents Water, the Ace of Clubs represents Fire, the Ace of Spades represents Air and lastly the Ace of Diamonds represents the Earth. The proverbs and slogans are ‘mindful and thought provoking, with, of course PEG twist!.
They are EARTH, FIRE, WATER and AIR.
All priced at £35 each unframed or £45 each framed.
@instagram | janet.dance58
Lucy Stockton Smith
What’s your red card utterance? The moment when enough is efuckingnough. Is your red card warning cry familiar to those who know you well? Or does it remain quietly circling in your raging mind? A red card phrase will generally include the word fuck at least once if not several times.
NFS but get in touch if you would like to commission your own bespoke red card (or yellow card) phrase.
@instagram | @lucyessess
Mary Stockton Smith
My cards are inspired by the Spanish embroidered postcards which I remember as a child.They are still to be found today. I was once in a flamenco dance group that danced the sevillana in Jerez and enjoyed the big skirts and the beautiful shoes, the sherry and the crowds.
Que carga de mierda 20 x 26 cms framed £85
Nuts 20 x 26 cm framed £120
Why the fucking fish? 20 x 26 cms framed SOLD
You’ve got some 20 x 26 cms framed £120
BALLS 30 x 40 cms framed £150
Fucking Fish and Balls SOLD
As this piece might suggest, I’m not a fan of a certain man. As I was someone who was in the extremely vulnerable group and had to shield, seeing this man do what he likes and completely unapologetic about it, it rather annoyed me (a little bit of an understatement as you might be able to tell).
This piece is hand embroidered on white cotton, then mounted on wood is L 195 x W 143 x D 12mm.
Price £180 plus P&P.
Email | email@example.com
My inspiration for this pick a card exhibition was Phone box Sex cards. I have used fluorescent orange fabric, black satin Dmc thread and uv sensitive threads.
The piece is 16cm x 11.5cm it comes framed with a UV torch so you can see the disguised wanker.
Frame size is 23cm x 28cm x 6cm.
Instagram | @dollynb
Divination “Divvy-nation” card.
Boundaries card meaning: The universe is urging you to keep fuck-nuggets at bay. It is time to cast aside your twat-dodging antics in the aisles and tell the world to back the fuck off.
Materials – cotton fabric over canvas board 5” x 7” (12.7cm x 18.8cm).
Instagram | @thesalsteronsea
Fanny Tingle’s Dance Card
“Introducing the delectable Miss Fanny Tingle. The Duke of Cum-berland has his eye on our Fanny, but who will she save the last dance for ???”.
Not for sale.
Instagram | @sarahbythesea_
Set of Ace sweary pin up bathing belles with a splash of colour and glamour. Contemporary vintage style portraits of friends, inspired by Vargas girls.
Ace of Hearts – Fanny Tastic – There is nothing dry when you are around this feckin talented show girl, she will have you in stitches.
Ace of Spades – Titty Licious – This dark beauty is highly prized, a bollox freezing cold water sea swimming entertainer.
Ace of Diamonds – Poppy Cock – Shag on you crazy diamond.
Ace of Clubs – Bloody Nora. A cuntaful clubber that knows all the motions.
Hand designed and painted on silk, stitched using a variety of thread types 12cm x 17cm image.
Black or White frame, card mount, under glass 24cm x 29 cm approximately.
£250 each, set price on request.
Instagram | @shazzershar
Hand stitched A4 Fortune Teller Madam Love a Lotta ‘Unfuck the World’ with her ‘Predicksion’ & ‘Fuckstration’ & inspired by a Art Nouveau Post Card 1899.
Embroidered in vintage black, gold & blue threads on soft Calico fabric.
Instagram | @suejtextileartist
Were you shit at most things at school, yet managed to A-star it in one and only one flipping’ subject? History, old shit. Maths, total shit. English, talking’n shit. Religious Education, holy shit! But with needlework, you aced it all the way? PEG co-founder was shit at that too, but made up for it later.